Category Archives: Life

Do you hate your work? Do you feel challenged in the way you don’t like to be at work? What sort of tension are you feeling? Why do you have a sense you want to leave your job? What are the moments that makes you uncomfortable?

These challenges are probably good times to take stock and examine life priorities. As I mentioned before about appraisals, life do not always progress in the manner that our career or organisations desires for us to move. And that alignment between our lives and our current role or job may not always be good. The fit doesn’t have to be perfect but if there’s sufficient strain and tension, it is important to take the opportunity to understand why and use that insight to find your next role.

Is it about the values of the organisation? Or the kind of people the organisation is selecting to work with you? Is it the sense of impact your work has for you? We too often try to make value judgment on these things when it is often really just about how these things fit with one’s priorities at a certain stage of life. Perhaps you joined at a point of life where you were more willing to trade your personal time for learning opportunities but now you no longer so you need to shift to a role that demands less time and yet leverages on what you have already built up? Ponder over these – generate greater self awareness.

Economists have long discovered that trust is an important input to economic development. And institutions in the economy can promote or degrade trust in the society so the institutions that destroys trust ultimately can destroy long run value even if it creates some short term ones.

Focusing on the institutions that promotes and activate trust as a social capital opens our eyes to the various means in which trust is built. On one hand there are institutions that have trust created based on openness and allow broad participation. Then there are institutions that build trust through exclusiveness, tight security around who can do what.

In general, as western ideas permeate, the former is preferred more than the latter. But we ought to recognise there will still have to be gatekeepers, curators to help maintain quality of interactions, and uphold the rules. While a secretive benign dictatorship may not be so pleasant, anarchy is not a viable alternative. The idea of authority and hierarchy is logically part of creating order though it can be abused.

There has to eventually be a balance between maintaining gatekeeping and authority functions against closing it up so much there’s too much exclusivity. The issue with capitalism and markets is that we know they have a tendency towards unequal distribution, even when we equalise opportunity. So even in an open system, there can be accumulation of power and eventually abuse.

Educating the masses and getting people to appreciate the power of reason is not enough to ensure open systems will always maintain trust. More checks and balances to be considered.

There’s a large part of our online media and even traditional media celebrating achievements of youths. The other ideas of ‘strawberry generation’ and the apathy of youths have recently been fading away as the world situation made things more difficult for the millennial generation. It’s important that we recognise the youths who are making a difference and shaping the future that we all want to live in.

One of the challenge with blarring about our 40 below 40 or 30 below 30, and other lists consisting of well-accomplished youths is that we create this sense of despair in other youths. We end up discouraging the ones who have tried and failed or achieved less at the same age. This further reinforces ageism – discrimination of older workers.

We need to think of better ways to celebrate our youths while encouraging others to move forward and continue shaping the future that we all care about. Our youths recognises that we are all one people and there is no inter-generational warfare going on. But they should also see that there is no hurry for those who had more obstacles in life to go through. Life is not that short, pacing things out helps.

When I was in school, I was lulled into a sense that we spend first 15-20 years of our lives just doing non-stop learning and cramming all the things we have to know about the world to prepare us for it. And then we just go out there and probably regurgitate or apply all that we learn non-stop for another 40 years or so before we retire. And then we can rest and enjoy the fruits of our labour.

So it got confusing when adults have to go to schools too; and they have to learn new things. Well, it was understandable, that the world is changing and some things in school became obsolete or superseded by new things we had to learn. So people in the workforce had to be retrained. But at the same time, there were skills required in work that wasn’t taught in school as well so it was 2-way: (1) School was not exactly catching up with what is needed for the 40 years or labour; and (2) Work wasn’t really sure what they wanted from their people because it kept changing.

If we are going to be continuously learning through life anyways then what should we really be preparing ourselves for in school? In the first 20-years? We should probably be focusing on how to learn; and being good at it so that during the period where our labour is needed, we can pick up on things and apply them quickly. But often learning requires doing, and instead of having schools create imaginary work for students to do, why not channel them to do real work and solve real problems?

For now, schools have been trying to do that but it is usually difficult for organisations designed to deliver mass education to do these things. So if you’re in college, or even before, I suggest you to try looking for work, different jobs, part time jobs. But make sure they are useful; and to draw relevant, suitable employers, you need to craft your own story about what you are exploring, and what you want to do.

Email Course – Building your story for your career

I’m working on an email course that is just about that; it is designed mainly for first-job seekers who are looking to dive into a career. But it is also relevant for undergraduate students trying to find their bearings in the job market, testing out job hunting, and polishing up those skills. Stay tuned for more updates.

At some point most of us realise that performance grading on a bell curve would mean we just try to be ‘above average’ unlike the times when in school we could have grade inflation and hence more people could get A. And of course there is less room than in school to dispute your score – especially in Asian societies. When we were all in school, we were sort of forcefully pitted against our classmates in various different things ranging from exam results, to fitness and so on. There’s a sense of that relative performance is quite important; but I think the key is considering relative performance of what.

For our co-curricular activities, we don’t face such anxiety. If we are not in a uniform group, we opt out of the comparison of our ability to do drills. When we are not in a music group then we cannot be compared against our peers on our skills on the musical instruments. But for most basic subjects, we cannot avoid the comparison and we will be graded, and probably ranked. But once we step into the workforce, we realised that all the different dimensions are being considered and lumped together into a single grade. That is vague and hard to work on. It’s difficult to aim for any grades because you’re definitely pitted against your colleagues or peers in all the different mysterious ways you can’t even begin to work on them.

Therefore you cannot aim to be above average. You cannot aim at relative performances even if you know that’s what matters and probably how the bosses make these performance reviews. You’ll need to find absolute metrics to work on; to focus on sales calls you make rather than sales you achieve, to measure and quantify your useful inputs and have the outputs/outcomes as an afterthought. And you must not create anxiety for yourself when the outcomes don’t work, but maintain the curious mind searching for relevant and suitable inputs to work on to drive the output.

I had the chance to be disconnected for a couple of days and I must say that it was a really good time for me. I managed to really stop thinking about work, feeling I have to do this or that in order to move forward and just be really present with things. Embarrassingly, it was refreshing for me – which probably mean that I really needed the break. And of course it wasn’t just about work but also my personal mental hygiene and stress from having to juggle commitments to family, and social relationships.

I realise it makes perfect sense to remain disconnected for at least a couple of hours a day just to get that real rest which we all need. I suspect I’m going to find it difficult but I think I will have to try it to know. To put my phone on airplane mode maybe 7-10pm before I go to bed. Or some other hours like that. Even just for 2 hours would be really good – mind you, when you are awake that is.

I begin to realise how normal it must be to plainly just be present with the people who are physically around you and to enjoy the things in the moment rather than be obsessed with something else in the distance or distant future. How joyful and peaceful life was! Before the smart phone took over so much of our attention.

When a teacher steps into a classroom; what is he/she observing? Is she thinking about who’s the leader in the class, who are the ones who would influence others? What are the attributes celebrated and considered valuable in the classroom? Never mind what the school thinks highly of; what about this classroom? And how did the students end up thinking or seeing things this way? How uniform are they? What are they united around? Why?

No those are not the questions they typically think about. They are just concerned about who needs more help, who behaves more badly, and at the most, who is leading who astray. In the typical day, more effort would be applied to classroom management and then lots of attempts to entertain/teach the class, and then marking. To me, success as a teacher lies solely in being able to inspire and influence the students to learn. Being able to know how to fish is infinitely better than being given a fish.

So what is the role of a teacher? It is to shape the culture and influence the culture of the classroom. To co-create that culture and motivate the students in the right direction by helping them to reconsider what they value. There’s going to be status roles and pecking orders in the classroom; and there will be non-academic elements at play. The teacher is going to have to determine which are the important ones to emphasise and the others to de-prioritise.

If teaching is about sharing knowledge, then the internet and a bunch of YouTube videos works spectacularly better. But if being a teacher is about modelling what it means to be human, to help students attach the right values to the right things, then the schools can play their part to support by focusing on the right things.

In my mentoring and coaching practice, I’ve always encouraged my mentee and clients to do something different when applying for jobs. It will mean taking a lot more effort such as ensuring that your CVs are tailored properly to the job description, investigating the alignment between your motivation and the elements that the hiring manager might be looking for.

Despite these efforts, it’s entirely likely that you are not even called for an interview. And that doesn’t have to do with anything you’ve put on your CV or wrote on your cover letter. It can be related entirely to the processes and logistical challenges that the company hiring was facing. I’ve received rejection notification that came a year after I applied to the opening. Then there are those who goes completely silent on you and you simply give up on them.

Feedback is important in the process of job-seeking and iterations do make a huge difference in helping you improve. But the difficulty is we can sometimes take these things personally when the hiring firm behaves badly. It is important to recognise sometimes we are rejected and they give us a flimsy excuse with no effort to provide feedback entirely because you were not even considered at all. The firms will not try their best to find the perfect candidate. They have vacancies to fill and it’s important they are going to just pick the first person who seemed like a reasonable candidate – who accepts the offer. That means there are CVs/letters they are going to ignore completely and are not even sure about whether to reply to.

You may feel that’s a bit unfair. But we do these things to others all the time. We ration our attention at dinner conversations, and we will not be pondering over every single sharing from our friends to give them our heartfelt responses. We might even spend more time on Instagram instead of the people we are physically present with. So allow that understanding to restore your mental health.

More than once since independence, Singapore’s government have been described more than once as a nanny state or being paternalistic. We’ve been a very Asian society where individuals are expected to sacrifice for the greater good of the society and community. Over the years, thanks to the good stewardship and development, individuals have been able to enjoy progressively less sacrifice and more “enjoyment”.

The outcomes that our society enjoys have been used to justify some of our “controls” so to speak. We have good citizens complying to measures from the government partly also because there were great vision from the leaders at the point of independence. I would argue the vision is more important in getting people onboard than the promise of the outcome – because that outcome cannot be guaranteed. But a vision and a commitment to the vision can be assured.

Our leadership needs to recognise that for all the upgraded tools in terms of policy-making, enforcement and technology at surveillance, we might be tempted to think that government can carefully calibrate every movement of the nation and people to achieve good outcomes. This perspective sets us up for failure because it was never the controls that drive the results but the vision that got people’s buy-in to the controls.

This point is very nuanced and I really hope we can see more vision, and commitment to the vision in the work of our leaders.

The discipline of writing, putting out ideas everyday started out more as an attempt to learn to show up daily. And in Seth Godin’s words, to practise shipping the work. But then it also evolved, it helped me think through ideas more, come up with more ideas, and to learn to craft them, convey them in different ways.

There are some recurring ideas that I keep revisiting such as the importance of the story we tell ourselves, the purpose of life and work, issues surrounding mental health from different angles. Writing daily helps me to build them up, reinforce them from different ideas and also explore the stray connections they may have with each other.

It has helped me be more curious about the world. I had this habit before – in 2006-2007 when I was preparing more for national exams. When I determined that I should write 1 essay a day. It was mainly to train my ability to write cogently; but I did already fall in love with writing then.

So for those out there with ideas to share, I’d say, please write on.