Category Archives: Life

In professional Tennis, there is a phenomena where players who are behind, especially when playing with a player they expect to be not as good, start to perform so poorly it seems as though they gave up. The technical term is ‘tanking’ – and this is an offence in professional tennis that can be penalised. Now it is commonly believed that the reason for that is because they want to ‘save face’. You’re going to ask, how is it that you save face by giving up and not putting in the effort?

Well, it is the psychological distance we gain from our true self; to suggest to ourselves: “I’m a better player than my opponent is but this time I didn’t win because I didn’t try to beat him. If I did, he won’t win”. So there’s some perverse psychological twist in there. And once that internal dialogue is articulated, it isn’t so hard to relate to the phenomena. Of course, it is difficult for competition judges/officials to tell what is the internal dialogue in players and hence the offense is rarely called out.

Now in school we see this played out again and again. A child who is intelligent fails to perform well in the quizzes and tests then decides he hates the subject. The kid who refuse to study or put in the effort to do well for specific tests even as he’s fully capable of remembering the facts from his favourite entries in the encyclopedia. All these indicates that the psyche as we approach a tests or a competition matters – and it matters in a specific way. We need to strike that balance of caring enough for the winning to put in our best but not to have our identity so caught up with performance that a single failure wrecks our interest and motivation to push further entirely.

And that is a warning to a system that increasingly puts more and more stakes into formal metrics and testing, that tries to label people using these tests and then use that label for just about everything. A system where one point or a few moments in your life somewhat seem to define much more of your life. Until we acknowledge this is doing a disservice to the mental health of our populace (not just students but also parents and educators), we are going to think these things are necessary ills. No, they are not necessary.

When I was a Corporal with the army in National Service, I was reading during admin time. Doing a lot of reading whilst others were playing their Play Station Portable or other mobile devices. I consumed quite a fair bit of John C Maxwell’s books on leadership and one of the greatest lessons that I’ve learnt from them about leadership is that ‘Leadership is influence’ – and that was the single most powerful lesson that help to reshape what I think about leadership and how I learnt to conduct myself even as a ‘mere Corporal’ in army.

Appreciating that leadership is about influence helped me to see that it is not so much about your rank or appointment but the way you are able to get people to listen to your ideas and views, including your superiors. It takes building up your credentials, taking ownership of your role in the mission and gaining the trust of your fellow colleagues. It made me recognise that making change do not come through necessary from mere conforming so you can rise up the ranks and use your authority to make a difference.

In fact, it usually doesn’t work this way. If you’ve risen in any organisation through conforming to the usual norms and practices, then you are unlikely to be able to change much, given that you’ve built the reputation as an operator, as an implementor of instructions. This is particularly challenging for middle management who have to manage their subordinates while delivering on some of the things that the boss above him wants. Your ability to influence or to lead upwards and downwards is vital to your agency. Otherwise, you’re a mere pipe or funnel for information and instructions.

So lead up, lead down, lead sideways – through your personality, your connection with others and drive the change you want to see. To the extent your circle of influence allows you.

I was listening to Daniel Ek, Founder and CEO of Spotify speak in an interview with Tim Ferriss. And one of the themes he touched on about the difference in the competitive environments in Europe vis-a-vis America struck me. For a society that gives more ‘security’ for basic survival such as Sweden, there is more people exploring music careers and they might be on welfare for a few years and there isn’t much stigma in that. Meanwhile, when the state only does minimal in terms of provision of a minimal level of living standards, there’s a lot of striving at the lower strata of the society just to put bread on the table.

I think too often, we tout the advantage of competition without looking more deeply into the construct and consequences of competition. It certainly deserves more attention because a large part of competition is created by our societal systems, policy mechanisms. And in part, it is a policy whether we want most of our society to be striving at the level of survival, constantly worried about bread and butter issues; or to be striving at higher levels, where they are able to contribute at the level of innovation and creativity.

With creativity and ideas, I think volume is necessary and quantity is also somewhat correlated with quality. The ability to generate ideas and test them as a society is so important. As Singapore genuinely transit into more and more of a knowledge-based economy, and with pressure coming from ‘inequality’, I think we should be rewriting the narrative around so-called ‘welfare’.

We have been using quite a fair bit of resources to support entrepreneurs and corporations and treating them as engines of growth because they create jobs. But wouldn’t it work the same to suggest that if we are able to support a group of people – who would already be striving so hard to improve their lives – to be able to have a little more of their bases covered. That way, they would be able to strive at a higher level, to apply their creativity, and to perhaps kick off ventures that also become engines of growth?

Our obsession with jobs came at a time when the masses were not super educated and didn’t have much qualifications. And we created jobs as the populace own means of creating jobs would tend towards low-wage kind of roles. But generations have followed, education levels have risen – there should be more means of job creation by the local population, and we have seen that. Instead of having people compete for limited jobs, and striving like the way they’ve been striving for survival, why don’t we create room for individuals to strive at a higher level – to be the one creating jobs, new experiences and the future?

There’s this ‘movement’ of sorts amongst the younger ones of us towards ‘authenticity’ and it is unfortunately rather poorly defined and gives rise to a whole bunch of misconception. It is clearer what they are railing against: self-censorship, political correctness, and maybe too a lesser extent, some ‘professional behaviours’ that are just empty-showmanship in disguise (such as ‘face time’ at work and all kinds of tactics to demonstrate work and take credit).

But not all professional behaviours are bad; and not all authentic behaviours are necessarily good. I think we have to acknowledge that it is an act of generosity for us to give others our positivity. And this generosity might not be ‘authentic’ in the strictest sense of the word. It would be authentic perhaps for a receptionist who had a quarrel with her boyfriend the night before to put on a sulky face and refuse to greet visitors but that would be unprofessional.

So before thinking about authenticity, we should think about what the work we’re trying to do really is. Because it can be professional and valuable to be authentic as well – a creative who is serving his client may think his client’s views are not going to be good for the objectives he is serving, and point that out sensitively, and then suggest for the client to seek out someone else if they’re not going to take on his idea. His focus is the work he is going to produce, not just about pleasing the client.

Of course, if the work is pleasing the client, where perhaps there is no right or wrong way but that the work is about serving the client; then one might have to be more generous about being positive and continuing to be able to deliver what the client would like to have. And very often the work we do calls for us to suspend that kind of extreme ‘authenticity’ to be able to do the work. A dentist who had a bad day with a spoilt toast and over-brewed coffee for breakfast should not be shouting at his patient who had a great avocado parma-ham sandwich and got some avocado and ham fibres stuck in some gaps between teeth.

As some of the old lines that boomers have drawn for ‘professionalism’ begin to fade away and the market shifts towards somewhat casual interactions even in work settings, we will begin to see more varieties within the workplaces. That option to choose is great and we have to value that diversity, rather than just to call out places that may not necessarily align with your ideals.

I know I’ve always talked about stress and mental health within the context of work life as well as the hum of busy urban lives. I want to make it clear that this is different from the pressure to perform during specific one-off opportunities that you’ve earned because of your capabilities and brilliance. Whether it is pitching to your best and most valuable clients to competing in the Olympics perhaps at the end of your sports career, there is pressure and some kind of stress there. And this is generally a positive stress if we cope with it well; a natural form of stress that pushes us forward rather than keep us stagnant or hanging.

In the Netflix Docu-series, The Playbook’s first episode on Doc Rivers the NBA coach, one of his coaching rule highlighted is that ‘pressure is a privilege’ and that kind of blew me off my chair. My mind was opened by this insight because our brains naturally try to run or hide from pressure, from stress of any kind. And even when we know it might be good, we are often not so vested. But this ‘rule’ from Doc Rivers changes our perspective on that pressure on our minds, on our nervous system.

And when he covered that, my mind inevitably drift back to the story he described in his childhood about how he said he wanted to be a pro basketball player when he was Grade 5 and his teacher just told him to be realistic, discouraging him. He spoke about the environment he was growing up in as an African American in Chicago. I think that’s how this ‘rule’ burns into his mind and his identity. Because indeed, you earnted that privilege to be in that position where there’s expectations upon you, where there is pressure to perform.

So when you think that pressure is getting better of you, think about what privilege it is again, to be there amongst the contenders – because there’s so many who weren’t even given the opportunity to be there.

In 1942, when my grandparents got married, their identity as a married couple probably was the most certain thing they had in their lives. The Japanese were invading Singapore and took hold of it that time. My grandfather migrated to Singapore at the age of 15 while my grandmother was born in Johor and moved to Singapore. They found that bit of certainty in the new family they were trying to form. But over the next 3 years, with the war situation, nothing was certain – they could easily lose their life any time.

As peace and ‘stability’ took hold, we try to find certainty and security in our jobs, our financial assets, education systems and even government policies. We take survival for granted and strive for ‘greater’ things. But the more we seem to crave for security in these things, the more we forget that ultimately, the human connection, and the formation of relationships is what brings that semblance of ‘certainty’ in our lives.

Today, in the backdrop of the pandemic, I hope everyone come to learn to relate to uncertainty in our lives in a whole new way. First, to accept uncertainty as simply a part of life. If you’ve not experience any version of that, then you have not been living life. Second, it would be to recognise that systems, organisations are not going to shield us from uncertainty; we have to build our own resilience, through our daily habits, through our self-development and developing greater independence of thinking.

Finally, let us learn to value human connection so much more and to find greater security in relationships than in things, systems or structure. In so doing, we will see through the hard work of making relationships work.

In a recent conversation I had along with some old and new friends, a question came up about what is Fiat (referring to the type of currency; though some certainly thought we were talking about cars)? And a few of us had thought of Singapore dollars as fiat money but our friend’s Dad who was in the conversation disagreed.

And it was his attack on our economics credentials that got me thinking about it and came to understand his perspective. The very key element of fiat money is that they are inconvertible into anything else by the issuing authority. Fiat is a word from latin (“let it be done”) basically implies “by decree”. And the thing is, Singapore dollar is technically backed by a basket of currencies, which means that it is supposed to be “convertible” per se though it isn’t since the actual composition of the basket of currencies is not disclosed.

Nevertheless, that basket of currencies probably are all fiat or at best backed by other fiat currencies. So to say Singapore dollars is not fiat seems be ‘turtles all the way down’ kind of argument. Nevertheless, these are just semantics. I think what is important is to recognise then that the so-called “intrinsic” value of fiat has to do with confidence in the economy and government/central bank of that country.

Thinking through these is probably very important at a point of time when the concept of money is being challenged by cryptocurrencies and all. Something I never had thought would happen in my lifetime.

In my recent farewell chat with HR (otherwise known as an exit interview), we ended up talking about cultures and changing a culture. The HR officer, as a sweeping generalisation, said that cultures are entrenched and hard to change. That, to me, is fascinating because I have been in the organisation for a long time and I know that cultures do change. All culture is temporary; and it is formed by the people who are there, whether they care or not. In fact, the culture is always evolving and whether it is for the better or not, is up to the management to be aware of it and to play an active role in shaping it, by the way they communicate, including the example they set.

What we may not have been thinking about more consciously when we talk about changing people’s mindsets is the stories that we tell ourselves. For example, this HR officer’s story about culture is that they tend to be entrenched. And that may have a role in reinforcing the status quo because people just use culture as a blackbox reason to attribute things to, and then don’t try to change things.

I previously wrote about the stories that we as millennials should be more conscious we are telling ourselves, and to learn to develop what it takes to be able to rewrite that story. So forget about trying to change mindsets by talking about concepts and plain facts, it is necessary for you to start thinking about the stories we are telling ourselves and each other.

As one grows older, the striving for results starts to recede as our attention and minds seem to gravitate towards making human connections. That’s seems to be my experience or perhaps that has been my disposition all along and it just took a while for me to accept that. Regardless, I realised how much self-awareness and appreciation for the human condition it takes to make a truly meaningful connection to begin with.

I attended multiple weddings last couple of weeks and there were some really heartfelt speeches that were made. What struck me was that for most of the key moments of our lives such as births, deaths, marriage, even more minor ones like graduation, promotion, or work success, we inevitably turn back to the idea about people around us. Some might say it is social norms and culture that led to speeches being about thanking people around us; that perhaps self-aggrandising in these moments served only to put others off. But the truth is that the culture is really about people and it is responsible a large part for those celebrations in our lives.

That is why I found what Dr Jim Loehr‘s idea of the invisible scorecard extremely compelling. Without the culture we live in, life would be brutish even with the luxuries of modernity. At some level, we understand that we are primarily driven by that human connection that takes place when we put in our best, when we do a good work, and when we make things better. It is about the feelings evoked, the impressions made.

Sustainability is the ability to maintain at a certain rate or level. The interesting thing is that rate and level denotes drastically different things. Maintaining a certain rate indicates some kind of constant change whereas maintaining a certain level literally implies no changes or that changes are cancelling each other out.

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That wasn’t what I was hoping to talk about in this article. Rather, the sustainability “industry” has more or less taken off. It started more or less with consumer brands that was looking at reducing the waste, enhancing awareness/consciousness around the consumption chain. It can come in the form of Body Shop’s initial use of non-packaging (or even charging for packaging), to Patagonia’s initiatives that deploys company’s resources into sustainable practices as well as environmental causes. These were seen as more hippie kind of companies just appealing to specific psychographics (as opposed to demographics).

Then it went on to businesses building business models around efficiencies that may have environmental consequences. Monsanto have been developing agriculture technologies that help to grow more crops within less land area. This allows more land on earth to be left for natural forests as opposed to agriculture. Urban infrastructure can be said to play such a role as it attempts to aggregate demand for various services such as clean water and wastewater treatment. With piped clean water, there’s less bottling, less plastic waste.

With the increasing awareness and focus on sustainability, there’s now a proliferation of consulting work involved in this sector. Mostly entailing compliance audits but a new class of consulting work involving coming up with ideas around integration of sustainable practices in business. The tricky thing is that this area is still nascent and they are actually in need of talents but do not have sufficient people who are experienced. The pool of talents they are drawing from are often from in-house big corporates who have been looking at sustainability in their business practices. Those are the best areas of picking up the relevant skills and thinking required.

The industry has a bit of a chicken-and-egg problem where corporates looking at sustainability are often clueless and would like to hire help from these consultants but they themselves are short of talents in these areas. Yet there is a whole lot of talented young people passionate about the cause for sustainability who wouldn’t be considered for such positions no matter how keen they are on it. To this group of young talents, I would advise you to first look for an industry where you want to make that sustainability impact on – it could be bottled drinks, IT, entertainment, etc. The key is that you like what the industry produce and do but would want to make it more sustainable – and within that, you try to pivot yourself to roles and work that is more focused on sustainability.

Most progressive firms looking into sustainability have already realised they need to build that competency in-house for now because they are still in the frontier and pioneering the efforts, especially in Asia.